Shalia's Diary #9 Read online

  It was a perfect date followed by a perfect day. I can’t wait to spend more time with Clan Seot.

  October 15

  Great news. My dads are on their way home to Kalquor! They’ve been relieved by a new batch of workers taking their place. They don’t have to remain until the end of the rescue operation on Earth.

  I got the recorded com from Nayun this morning. That big bear of a beaming Imdiko was nearly dancing in his glee after he made the announcement. “Nine more months until I can hold my granddaughter! So don’t go growing up too fast, little Anrel,” he begged.

  While he almost danced, I actually did, twirling around and laughing with Anrel in my arms. She chortled with happiness at our frolic. My honorary parent clan is coming home. I’m beside myself with joy.

  I sent a com to them, showing them how happy we were at the news. “Be careful,” I begged. “It’s ugly out there. I’ll be devastated if my dads don’t get here in one piece.”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to ask if Clan Dusa was also part of the changing of the guard, but I knew better. A lot has happened since I said goodbye to them. I’ve loved and lost other men. I’ve changed a ton from the person I was when I knew them. I have a daughter, and I must put her first and foremost.

  After seeing Anrel with Clan Seot a few times now, three men who dote on her, I’m starting to think maybe the Kalquorians’ view of fatherhood isn’t so outrageous. Particularly since Dusa has been so adamant about staying away from me and Anrel. That alone tells me we are done. My little girl must come first with any clan who is to be a meaningful part of our lives. Clan Dusa has failed in that. As painful as it is to say it, they don’t deserve her. Perhaps their reasoning for it is sound, but the fact remains that they haven’t made any kind of effort to know their maybe-daughter. Even the one time Nobek Esak reached out to me, his interest didn’t go beyond a couple of general questions.

  So I didn’t ask Dad about them. The past is the past, and it needs to stay there. Sure, it hurts. Maybe more than a little. But the future has so much going for it. I need to concentrate on that.

  I also commed a message to my dads’ Matara Joelle. She’s about six weeks away. Her trip is taking longer than expected due to an engine malfunction on her transport. No doubt she’s looking forward to the end of her journey. I not only celebrated the good news of Clan Bitev’s coming home, but I also updated her on all the stuff I’m up to. I’m looking forward to meeting my stepmom in the flesh. She’s been wonderful about sending messages of support through all my difficult times.

  With the dutiful daughter stuff out of the way, it was time to turn my attention from future happiness to present drudgery.

  It was time to pack again. Boo. Hiss. Waa. I should be a pro at this by now. I should be able to do it in my sleep. It’s still a drag. During my holiday with Betra and Oses, I swear I left behind at least one item every place we stayed. I am hopeless.

  It occurs to me that I’ve spent so little time at this complex, I might as well not be here. I’m living out of a travel bin. I need to say ‘screw it’, get a tambourine, and dedicate myself to being a gypsy. Thank goodness Anrel travels so well, poor rootless baby.

  Enough whining. I’ll keep reminding myself I get to have dinner with Clan Seot tonight. Tomorrow, I will finally meet Clan Aslada in the firm, delicious flesh. And I will get to stay put in one place for at least a few weeks. Yay! Temporary stability.

  (later)

  I guess I know who is popular with Anrel. When Clan Seot showed up for our date, she immediately held out her arms and crowed with a big smile at Cifa.

  “I swear, if she says your name before she says ‘Mommy’, I’ll never forgive you,” I warned him. He laughed, gave me a kiss that was more than friendly, and hugged his little princess close.

  “Seot does the same thing when he comes home from work,” Larten said, grinning broadly. He demonstrated by holding his arms out to the Imdiko. “Cuddle me, Cifa! Cuddle me!”

  Seot punched his shoulder while Cifa and I laughed at the idea of the strong Dramok begging Cifa for snuggles.

  Clan Seot took me and Anrel to another eatery, a gorgeous place in one of the cliffs. The wall facing the ocean was cut out, leaving it wide open to the scenery of the crashing waves on the beach. The slight shimmer that betrayed the evidence of a containment field kept me from grabbing Anrel from Cifa and running for safety.

  Our table had an unencumbered view. It was stunning, but I had to tease them. “Let’s see, you live in a rock right off the beach, Cifa takes several trips a year on his cruise line – and sometimes you go with him. You never get tired of seeing the ocean?”

  Seot took my hand and looked at me. “What ocean?”

  I wish I could say the sloppy sentiment made me roll my eyes. Instead, I melted inside. I ate that up like a lovesick teenager.

  Not a mushy kind of guy, Larten chuckled. “Cifa has seawater in his veins. He hates being away from it.”

  Seot grinned at the Imdiko. “Any time we take a trip inland for a change of scenery, he gets restless for the shore after a couple of days. I’m surprised he hasn’t grown gills.”

  Cifa shrugged. “I can’t deny it. I appreciate that my clanmates indulge me in letting us live where we do and take so many cruises.” He brightened. “That reminds me. We need to plan your first cruise.”

  “Hard to do since I don’t know what to expect from my mom’s surgeries,” I pointed out. “But I’m looking forward to it.”

  “I’m keeping things loose because of that. I’m putting off the new ship’s shakedown cruise until you’re available.”

  “The smaller one, right? The one you told me was like an Earther yacht?”

  He was pleased I remembered. “It accommodates only five clans at the most, but has many of the same amenities of a large liner. It will boast personalized service and visit the most luxurious locales. My brother and sister’s clans will join us for the maiden voyage. Along with your mother, I hope.”

  I almost said Eve Monroe wouldn’t want to do any such thing. She’d call it a waste of time and money (even if the money wasn’t hers). But I realized I didn’t know who Mom would be after her procedures.

  That was a sobering thought. Would my mother become a stranger when it was all said and done?

  I didn’t want to think about the uncertainties of my future while I was on my date with these amazing men. So I dismissed my worries, smiled, and we carried on with enjoying our evening.

  Larten passed along a list of trainers on the other continent near Clan Aslada’s home. “I am more than happy to make up for the other Nobek’s shortcomings,” Larten said with no small amount of smugness. “Of which I am sure he has many.” He looked significantly at his lap and nodded with confidence.

  I shook my head but had to laugh. Larten never misses a chance to point out how much better he and his clan are than everyone else…whether the proof is real or imagined. “Thanks for looking into that. Depending on how Mom does with her procedures, I’ll need some way to work off any angst.”

  Seot gave his food a grumpy look. “I wish we could be there for you. You will com to let us know how Matara Eve fares?”

  “Absolutely,” I assured him. “Thanks for the concern.”

  After dinner, they took me back to my quarters. After Anrel went to bed, we sat around, drinking the booze they’d brought for us to relax with. I sat in the middle of my lounger with Seot on one side and Cifa the other. Larten moved the table so that he could put a cushion close enough to sit at my feet.

  Cifa sighed. “I hope your mother’s procedure goes well and you can come back to us soon.”

  I smiled. “It’s kind of hard to start getting to know each other and then I take off again.”

  “That’s not your fault,” Seot interjected. “I’m grateful you give us these opportunities.”

  He was grateful…ha. The more time I spent with his clan, the less worthy of them I felt. Yet I enjoyed their company way too much to push
them away for their own good.

  I loved that I was surrounded by the three men. Seot on my right had his arm on the back of the lounger behind me, his fingertips lazily stroking my shoulder. Cifa sat close on my left, our thighs against each other’s, his hand on my knee. The warmth of their bodies made me feel comfortable. Cozy. Larten was cross-legged at my feet, looking up at me with dark eyes and a lazy half-smile that somehow took my breath away. He looked at me like he could read the secrets of my soul.

  I didn’t want to leave for my mom’s surgeries. I wanted to remain right here with these three men, to continue dating and find out all about them. I know, I’m awful. Selfish, selfish Shalia, especially since we weren’t doing anything in particular. Yet I felt a peaceful happiness sitting there, hanging out with Clan Seot.

  Larten’s big, warm hand cupped the back of my calf, left bare by my skirt. He rubbed up and down, musing while still wearing that half-smile, “How little you are. I’m almost afraid to touch you. I have to remind myself this is the woman who took out a squad of Tragooms.”

  “Mostly through luck.” I insisted on being truthful. “What wasn’t luck was all training.”

  Seot’s fingers left my shoulder to play with my hair. “You are a strong woman. Don’t doubt yourself on that account.”

  He leaned close to kiss my lips. The contact was brief and light, but it sizzled on my nerve endings. I resisted the urge to lean into him and melt against his strength. Barely. I was more aware of the three of them around me than ever. They drew as close as possible. Hands caressed, petting me in an intimate but non-sexual way. They murmured compliments that I don’t remember the words to now. The importance wasn’t in what they said, but in the gentle, caring way they said it.

  It was profound, being the center of attention from three men who believed they wanted me. I’d been in that position with other Kalquorians, but this felt like so much more. With all the rest, there had always been the understanding that any relationship would be temporary. I’d loved, but I’d held something back too. The men I’d known before had gotten substantial pieces of me, but never all. Too much had stood in the way for me to grant them that.

  I felt the real possibility of giving all of myself to Seot, Cifa, and Larten. Not just my body, but the entirety of my heart. Forever. The realization made me feel dizzy. To let go of fear, to be completely committed. Like I am with Anrel, except in the romantic sense.

  I could love without being hurt.

  I was so mesmerized by the idea of it that I can’t be sure when the gentle touches and kisses from the men began to gain in ardor. It seemed I emerged from a fog of dreaming what could be to find myself aroused and covered in men.

  Cifa’s face buried against my neck, kissing and nipping as his hand cupped one of my breasts. Seot’s hands framed my face, and his lips pressed against mine in a devouring kiss that took all the breath from my lungs. Larten’s hands rubbed up and down my outer thighs as he kissed his way up the inner part. The warmth of their breath on me set me on fire. I moved beneath them, writhing to get closer to one, then another, and the last. My hands ran over any part of them I could reach, feeling their strong bodies.

  Cifa moved down, seizing a breast in his mouth, wetting the dress and bra that kept it covered. I moaned as his teeth scraped over fabric, intuiting how they would feel scoring my skin. Meanwhile, Larten’s tongue slid along the lacy leg band of my panties, creating a trail of moist heat that made me go wet. Seot’s tongue was rough silk twining about mine, driving all thought out of my head.

  My hips came up off the lounger when Larten’s mouth covered my panty-clad crotch. He shoved me down again, then pushed my thighs apart to better kiss the lace that was all that stood between his tongue and my pussy. I thrashed, desperate for more contact. My body clenched with abrupt and cataclysmic need.

  I wanted my clothes off. I wanted their clothes off. Yet I couldn’t speak because Seot would not release that mind-blowing kiss. I couldn’t rip my dress or anything they wore away because our bodies pressed too firmly against each other’s. I was trapped, unable to work my will, helpless to theirs.

  Cifa went from one breast to the other, teasing my nipples into sharp points even through the layers of fabric. His hands squeezed, testing the pliability of the mounds. He worked at them as any man might, although most men would have had them naked by then. Cifa didn’t bother with baring them. He played and made me crazy.

  Larten’s eager lips and tongue found my swelling clit, even with the lace in the way. I squalled into Seot’s mouth to feel him so close. Then his fingertips squirmed under the edge of my panties, slipping over my wet, throbbing mound. My body galvanized to feel flesh against my flesh at long last.

  He sucked at the fabric over my clit. At the same time, a finger slid inside me. It was followed by a second. My quivering sex clamped down over him, desperate to claim and keep that wondrous fullness.

  I was on fire, even with us all still clothed. Seot’s insistent kiss bruising my lips, Cifa’s hands and mouth mauling my breasts, and Larten’s mouth drawing on my clit while his fingers pumped relentlessly in my pussy – I was mad with the conflagration they set off in me. Perspiration broke out on my skin. Electric charges thrilled up and down my spine. My heart thundered in my ears. Brightness grew in my belly, a brilliant star growing in mass, soon to explode and obliterate us all.

  Larten shoved his fingers in me as far as they could go. His thumb moved inside my panties, replacing the pressure of his mouth on my clit. He drew circles around the pulsing nub, forcing me closer to the brink. A thin, high cry broke from my throat, only to be muffled within Seot’s mouth as he held me prisoner with his kiss.

  Larten’s thumb stroked over the top of my clit. Ignition.

  Some small part of me remembered Anrel slept two rooms away. I don’t know how I managed to clamp down on the scream that tried to barrel from my lungs as I plunged into ecstatic rapture. Somehow I did as surges of pleasure washed through my body.

  I rose and fell on the tide of bliss until I was depleted. I found Seot had at last released me from the longest kiss of my life. He and the other two watched me as I regained my senses. The scent of their arousal was so heavy I could almost see it. Yet their expressions were contented, as if they too relaxed in the aftermath of realized pleasure.

  “Sweet prophets,” I croaked.

  Seot grinned. “A little something to remember us by while you’re gone.”

  I tried to gather my scattered thoughts. “But there’s more, right? You’ll spend the night?”

  The three men exchanged looks. I had the sense of silent communication going on, reminding me they’d been clanned for over twenty years.

  Seot’s attention returned to me. He looked pleased. “We will stay. We will even share your bed, provided we can all fit on it. Should you need more attention, we will provide it, just the same as this time.”

  I blinked at him in shock. “Wait. You mean with my clothes on? You don’t want to have sex with me?”

  Larten snorted. “I’d kill to have sex with you. Look at me.” He indicated the monstrous bulge in his pants.

  Seot and Cifa chuckled. The Dramok said, “We would enjoy nothing more than to make love to you. But perhaps if we leave you not having discovered all the pleasures we can offer, you won’t get carried away by whatever charms Clan Aslada might hold for you.”

  “Think of what happened as the appetizer for the feast that comes later,” Larten grinned. “One that will leave you glutted.”

  “Besides, we told you we wouldn’t rush you so soon after losing Betra and Oses,” Cifa reminded me. “While you may not feel guilt tonight, you might tomorrow. We can’t have that.”

  “You can have us when you return. Not before.” Seot’s tone had taken on what I’d begun to think of as his Dramok-rules-the-universe sound. Meaning he wasn’t going to budge on the issue.

  I was not happy to hear that tone. If they’d been trying to pique my interest by denying me the
whole show, they’d succeeded. I’d gotten my cookie nice and proper, but now I wanted more. A lot more.

  Seot had spoken, however. And they held true to their word. They crowded into my bed with me when I was ready for sleep. I liked being crushed between Seot and Cifa just fine. Larten complained about his ass hanging off the side of the sleeping mat.

  “Don’t worry,” came Cifa’s happy voice as he curled against my back. He’d damned near wagged his whole body like an exuberant puppy at the opportunity to spend the night. “If you fall, the floor will catch you.”