Shalia's Diary Read online

  Realizing that the pair were way too much on my mind for me to entertain another man, I pushed against Nang’s chest to make him break the kiss. “I don’t think this is such a good idea, Nang.”

  He grinned, clearly thinking the challenge would be more fun than a real hindrance. “I think it’s a very good idea.”

  “Okay, you’re pretty darned hot and all, but the truth is, I’m seeing someone. A couple of someones. A Dramok and his Nobek.”

  Nang arched an eyebrow. “Let me guess...Dusa and Esak?”

  I was a little relieved I didn’t have to explain everything. I also felt plenty chagrined that my affair with the pair was well enough known that it had reached all the way to the site commander’s ears. “Right. Earthers are a monogamous species. Of course I realize being with two Kalquorians isn’t real monogamy, but they are kind of a unit, being clanmates and all. So it’s kind of weird to be sitting here, kissing you. It doesn’t feel very – ethical.”

  He considered me for a moment. Then he stood, cradling me in his arms like a baby. He walked across his office towards his desk, talking as he went. “Let me explain this to you, Shalia. Dusa and Esak have no expectations of your monogamy as they do not have an Imdiko clanned yet. Even if they did, the three men would have to be a unit for at least a year before adding a Matara. Only a full and well-established clan can claim a female mate for their own.”

  He sat me on his desk. I looked up into his rugged face, thinking how easy it would be to go back to kissing him. Instead I told him, “I understand that. I’m still not comfortable with what feels like playing behind their backs.” My cheeks heated as I added what I thought would convince him more than anything else. “Plus I’m sore from being with them last night.”

  Nang looked at me for several seconds. Finally he asked, “Are you attracted to me, Shalia?”

  I couldn’t help myself. I looked him up and down, noting all that masculinity well displayed in his skintight formsuit. I sighed. “I’d have to be blind and insane not to be.”

  That earned me a laugh. “Part of my job here is not just to save as many of your people as I can. I’m also supposed to attract as many fertile Mataras to Kalquor as possible, without forceful coercion.” Nang’s voice dropped until it was rumbling through my bones. “You need to know there are many Kalquorian men who can satisfy your needs. You’ve had a taste of the younglings. It’s time you knew the experienced touch of a man with rank and maturity. I would be remiss in my duty if I neglected educating you on that. I must try to convince you to go to Kalquor.”

  “Oh,” was all I could think to say. Nang made a very persuasive argument.

  “You don’t want me to not do my job to the fullest of my ability, do you?”

  Perish the thought. But my stupid mouth had to say, “I’m still sore. I don’t think I’m up to sex. Seriously, Nang. I don’t think I’ll enjoy it.”

  He laughed, but there was something dangerous in the sound. “A real man doesn’t have to put his cocks in a woman to satisfy her needs.” He inhaled sharply. “You are in need, lovely Shalia. I can smell it, and I cannot allow you to leave my office in such a state.”

  Nang was right in that I was aroused. My panties were soaked. Damn, that man could probably have talked the Holy Leader into skipping church. I’d never known anyone that could get me going just from a look and the sound of his voice.

  So when Nang pressed me back to lie on his desk, I went down way too easy. I made no effort to stop him as he unbuttoned my blouse, spread it open, and eased my bra up over my breasts. Then he pushed my skirt up to bunch at my waist. He slipped my panties down, pulling them past my slippered feet. His eyes darkened as he displayed my sex to his gaze.

  “You are such a beauty,” he breathed. “It is my very great honor to care for you.”

  He stood between my legs, his thick thighs opening me. His gaze crawled up my exposed body until his eyes met mine.

  “I am going to cover your mouth with my hand, Shalia,” Nang said. “I will pleasure you to the point that you cannot be quiet, and there may be someone outside the door.”

  My eyes widened at his words. What was he going to do to me that would make me react like that? Without actual sex involved?

  Nang’s huge hand went over my mouth. “Relax,” he whispered. His other hand cupped my pussy. I moaned to feel his heated touch there.

  His fingers stroked the soft petals of my womanhood, bringing more gushing moisture to already soaked flesh. I couldn’t help but roll my hips up, encouraging him to do more.

  “Easy, little one. Surrender to me. I’ll take care of you.”

  Nang explored every nook and cranny of my nether flesh, his touch alternating between tender and demanding. Curls of pleasure twined through my pussy, bringing whimpers. With both hands I clutched the wrist of the hand that muzzled me, needing something to hold onto as my insides melted.

  The whole time Nang stared into my face, his gaze avid as he catalogued my every reaction. Occasionally he murmured, “That’s my girl,” or “Good, Shalia, good,” when I cried out or dug my nails into his arm.

  Blissful need washed through me, pulsing slow and warm through my loins. I wanted more. As if sensing my growing desire, Nang stepped up his seduction. I groaned and arched as he inserted a thick finger into me. He stroked in and out, fucking me nice and slow.

  His thumb brushed so very lightly over the tip of my clit. My senses galvanized at the sudden splash of sensation. I jerked, my feet kicking so hard that one of my slippers flew across the room. Massive arousal interrupted the sweet, easy ride I’d enjoyed up until now.

  I wriggled almost desperately, trying to get Nang to touch my clit again. “Easy, little one,” he whispered. “Ease down. We’ll get there. Trust me and give yourself over.”

  He continued the leisurely fingerfuck, and I gradually went back to a nice simmer. Then Nang added a second finger. I was more full but not enough that it aggravated the ache from last night’s activities. I hummed happily, enjoying the thorough attention he gave me.

  Nang brushed my clit again, and I tried to fly off the desk. The bolt of erotic elation had me thumping my ass against its surface.

  I wailed against the warm palm when Nang didn’t repeat the gorgeous stroke. I could have climaxed with only a few seconds of that touch, and need brutalized me.

  “I know,” he soothed. “I’m being cruel, aren’t I? Just relax, Shalia. I promise you’ll have all the pleasure you deserve.”

  I whimpered and reluctantly acquiesced, letting him lull me back to that low, gentle boil of arousal. I floated on the surface of it, my pulse slowing.

  Nang’s fingertips pressed on my interior hot spot and rubbed. Explosive heat filled me. The next instant, he stroked my clit. A dagger of ecstasy stabbed my pussy. I kicked my other slipper off. It shot up to the ceiling and bounced back down.

  “Nang!” I tried to scream, but his palm had my lips sealed shut. He went back to sliding his fingers in and out of me.

  I wasn’t having it. The surge of blatant need wouldn’t going away this time. I writhed and grabbed at the hand torturing my pussy. Nang immediately stilled and gave me a stern look.

  “Shalia, do I need to tie you down? Because I will if you don’t lie quiet for me.”

  I had a jolt remembering how helpless I’d been bound by Dusa and Esak. I wasn’t ready to do that again, not quite yet. Not with Nang, who was infinitely more threatening than the younger men I’d been with. I made myself stop fighting and went back to holding the wrist attached to the hand on my mouth. Tears of want slid from the corners of my eyes.

  “Hush, sweet one. Be very good for me, and I’ll let you climax.”

  I couldn’t help the tremors running all through my body. This time my body refused to settle back down. My pussy grasped at Nang’s fingers, trying to suck them in faster and harder. It seemed every inch of me below the waist and above my thighs pounded with the demand to be brought to culmination. Nang’s deliberate, lingeri
ng strokes in and out weren’t doing a damned thing to soothe my need or quiet the clamoring.

  I whined and put every bit of plea into my eyes I could. I’d grown desperate for him to finish me off.

  Nang smiled at me. “All right, Shalia. It’s time.”

  His fingers curled inside me, finding that magic place that made every hair on my body stand straight up. His thumb rubbed slow circles over my clit.

  My body felt as if it opened wide, making room for the cataclysm barreling down on me. Elation shot through me like a ball through a cannon. I couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t recite my A-B-Cs. It was as if thunder had become trapped inside my body and rumbled violently to get back out.

  I tumbled down from that incredible high only to be tossed straight back up again. I was dimly aware that Nang still worked my clit and joy spot. Then all I knew was vicious pleasure, the kind that bites and tears without mercy. I’m sure I screamed beneath Nang’s palm, but I never heard it. All I remember was the howling roar in my ears and the earthquake in my guts.

  I had another descent, this time further down than before. For an instant I could think clearly, and I tried to yell at Nang to stop, for God’s sake stop before he killed me, but I couldn’t talk past his hand and he forced my overwrought body to orgasm again. And again. And again.

  I think I went off at least half a dozen times before he finally let me stop. When he took his hands from my pussy at last, I lay like a forgotten rag doll on his desk, sobbing and shaking and still spasming. Fuck. Maybe there can be too much of a good thing. He’d not made me any more sore than when I’d walked into his office, but deep inside I felt absolutely gutted.

  Nang uncovered my mouth and leaned over to press a gentle kiss to my lips. “Now you have been properly satisfied,” he said with no small measure of pride.

  He picked me up and went back to the cushion where he’d sat as we’d worked on our presentations. He cuddled me in his arms, keeping me warm...keeping me in one piece...as I calmed. It was a good thing he took care of me for those minutes, because I seriously felt ready to shake apart. The climaxes had been monumental, beyond anything I could have ever conceived of. I didn’t know such pleasure could exist. I wondered if he’d kept at me if I could have gone insane from it.

  After a little of my shockiness had passed, I said, “That couldn’t have done much for you.”

  Nang rumbled laughter. “It actually did. It’s a good thing I have a spare formsuit in the closet.”

  “Oh.” Well, for heaven’s sake. I was glad he got something out of it after making sure I had gotten my cookie. Make that a jar full of cookies.

  It took a half hour before I could stand on my own two feet again. Nang made sure my clothes were on right, if a bit wrinkled. He also found my shoes and put them on my feet. It was like Prince Charming giving Cinderella her glass slipper. A little. Sort of. No, not really.

  Nang also arranged for my dinner to be delivered to the dorm room. Nice guy to understand I was not going to be fit for public consumption tonight. I’ll tell you what else; as soon as Mom is in bed, I’m going to sleep too. I have no doubt in my mind I will rest very well tonight.

  September 25

  It’s been a couple of days since my last entry. I’ve been busy, busy, busy getting ready for my presentation. Too busy to entertain amorous Kalquorian men. Too busy to be nervous...until now. I’m due to go onstage at the site’s auditorium in two hours. Nang expects 436 of his men to attend, or 90 percent of the rescue group stationed here. The rest will get the presentation via vid when they aren’t on duty. Damn. Over 400 Kalquorians watching little ol’ me try to get through this without freaking out. Scared doesn’t begin to cover it.

  An interesting development has occurred. An Imdiko showed up to do respite care for Mom while I’m off doing this thing. Sure, she has a Nobek standing guard, but she needs a real caregiver. And who is it that came to do the mommy-sitting? Nang’s own Imdiko Trenu.

  He’s a nice looking guy with the perfect chiseled chin and high cheekbones that could make a girl’s heart go pitter-pat. He’s got long spirals of black hair too nice to waste on a man. And he was extremely standoffish from the moment he set foot in our little dorm. He was so remote, in fact, that I decided I wasn’t comfortable with Trenu taking care of Mom.

  I got right to the point after my second attempt to draw him out met with no more than a polite response. The major kicker for me was that he refused to bend down low enough for Mom to measure his head for one of her custom caps.

  I told him in a firm, no-nonsense tone, “Imdiko Trenu, I mean you no offense when I say this, but I don’t think you’re the right personality to handle my mother.”

  He seemed startled at my statement. He stared at me, blinking big wide eyes. “Matara Shalia, I assure you that though most of my current duties are administrative, I do have experience caring for people with diminished capacity.”

  I snorted. “Diminished capacity or not, Mom needs someone with a little more warmth than you seem capable of. She is used to caregivers who treat her with deference and go along with her more benign compulsions. Her wish to measure your head is something easily done and causes no one harm. There is no reason for you to refuse her something like that.”

  “Mean man.” Mom pouted in a corner, knitting away and giving Trenu a grouchy look.

  “You see?” I folded my arms over my chest. “You’ve hurt her feelings. That could ruin her whole night.”

  Trenu looked askance. “I am so sorry, Matara Eve. I didn’t mean to offend you. Of course you can measure my head for one of your lovely hats.” He bowed to her, the very picture of contrition. “Perhaps you could even show me how you do it? It does look like an interesting pastime.”

  Mom smiled, brightening in a heartbeat. “You want to learn how to knit? That would be fun.” She started to dig for another pair of needles.

  Trenu looked at me for a few beats, the stiffness leaking out of his posture. “I apologize for my attitude. I just didn’t want to give you the wrong idea, Matara Shalia. I realize you’ve had a few...amorous encounters with my Dramok.”

  I lifted my brow. “Only two. Or three. And they didn’t lead to sex with Nang.” Not real sex, anyway.

  Trenu studied me. “Nang’s response to you led me to believe it might be a little serious between you two. I had the idea there was a possibility you might want to join our clan.”

  Well, that was news to me. I hadn’t even considered that option. Hell, it was nowhere on my radar. Earth’s destruction is still a little too fresh to be living hornily-ever-after with a Kalquorian clan.

  I told Trenu, “Either you misunderstood or Nang is assuming too much. I’m not in the market to be any clan’s Matara right now.”

  The Imdiko’s relief was obvious. “I apologize if I was rude to you and your mother. Quite frankly, I don’t think you’d do well with our clan. I and my Nobek do not wish to add a Matara.” His brow wrinkled. “I hope you are not offended. It’s nothing personal.”

  “I’m not offended, but I am surprised. I thought all Kalquorians were looking for female mates.”

  Trenu bit his lip and slowly shook his head. “I have no interest in women. Neither does my Nobek. It has never been an issue with Nang until a few days ago after he met you.” He gave me a half-smile. “He is crushed on you.”

  “Crushed?” I was completely puzzled for an instant. “Oh, you mean he has a crush on me? Like infatuation?”

  “Exactly. We hope it is only a temporary interest. Not that there is anything wrong with you,” Trenu hastened to add. “It’s just – my Nobek and I aren’t made that way. To enjoy females in a sexual manner, I mean.”

  My curiosity on the matter was piqued, but I didn’t know how to approach Trenu with the questions I had. Like why a man would prefer other men to women. He made it sound as if he was born that way, that it wasn’t a choice. If that’s the case, it’s a good thing he wasn’t born on Earth. The penalties for homosexuality w
ere the worst of all offenses. Even serial killers got more mercy.

  Anyway, Trenu eased up with the whole stay-at-arms-length attitude after he realized I wasn’t chasing Nang for clanship. He’s turned out to be pretty nice, in fact. Right now Mom is showing him how to knit and they seem to be having a good time together. I guess he’ll be all right to keep an eye on her this evening after all. He's proving to be quite conscientious, and that's one less thing to worry about tonight.

  I am so nervous! I need to start putting myself together. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. How do I get over 400 Kalquorians to think my opinion matters when no Earther ever did? Nang really put his faith in the wrong person. Now I have no choice but to get through it. I think I might throw up.