Shalia's Diary #3 Read online

  Sage advice from a wise woman. I have vowed to follow her sensible warning.

  I noticed Candy had said nothing during our conversation. At first I thought she was disgusted by me jumping our liaison. After all, she’s heard me go on and on about how much I adore Dusa’s clan and that I want to see them again. Maybe she thought I was a big slut after all ... hell, I’m not convinced I’m not the second coming of Jezebel myself.

  “Go ahead, tell me how awful I am,” I invited. I thought perhaps I deserved the castigation. “Tart, whore, pick your name for it.”

  To my surprise, she smacked me upside my head in obvious irritation. “Shut up, stupid. You know I don’t think that of you. You’re lonely and sad and scared. Plus pregnant, so you’re hormonal as hell too. Of course you turned to Betra for the closeness you need.”

  “Then why are you looking so grouchy?” I said, rubbing over my ear where she’d let me have it. It really smarted.

  Candy rolled her eyes. “Damn it, Shalia, everything is not about you. It’s all about me.” She stuck her tongue out and attempted a silly act to alleviate my concern. “I’m the only one who matters here. Don’t you know that yet?”

  I wasn’t fooled by her surface goofiness. “So lay it on us. That’s what we’re here for. Friends don’t just listen to my shit. They get to tell me all about their shit too.”

  Katrina arched an eyebrow at Candy. “You are allowed your own dramas, even if they don’t compare to Shalia’s.”

  I blew a raspberry at Katrina for that one. “Look, I’d prefer to not be the Queen of Whine and Cheesiness. Go ahead, Candy, steal my crown.”

  “Fine. I think I’m frigid and it’s driving me nuts.”

  Katrina snickered. “Saving yourself for something more meaningful than sex for sex’s sake is not frigidity, my dear. You’re simply being sure it’s what you want.”

  “Do you think so?” Candy bit her lip. As funny as her concern sounded, I could tell it really did worry her. “I mean, I get vicarious fun out of hearing about you two having wild encounters. I keep thinking ‘I wish that was me’, but I’m terrified of going through with it.”

  “Is that why you never show up for my little salons?” Katrina asked gently. She’d caught on that this was a big deal to Candy.

  Candy sniffled. “I’ve tried to. I get all dolled up and pretty, start for the door to join you and your Kalquorian friends, and then I stop cold. I did make it halfway down the hall one time, but then I started shaking and sweating ... I just couldn’t do it.”

  Katrina’s eyes went wide. “I never knew you’d gone as far as that. I thought you hadn’t bothered at all.”

  “Oh, I bother, all right. Then I think about all those men and being with one ... it’s exciting, but it’s so scary I can’t go through with it!”

  “You’re not made for casual encounters,” I opined. “Neither am I, though I’m sure that surprises you. I do have to have something invested in the guys I get frisky with.”

  Candy wrung her hands. “So what do I do? Wait until I choose a clan? But that’s months away! I’m tired of being the only one cuddling a damned pillow every night.”

  Katrina and I looked at each other. I had a flash of inspiration.

  “Choose a temporary boyfriend. Someone you can like and be pals with, but not invest your heart in,” I said. “Get comfortable with him and date, like you would on Earth. Then, if it comes up, have him bite you and go from there.”

  Katrina considered. “I can give you a few names of the men I think you’d enjoy the company of,” she said. “Then I can be like your go-between when you pick one to get to know. I’ll tell him you’re nervous and need someone that’s a friend first and a lover second.”

  “Do you think that would work?” Candy sounded so hopeful that I could have cried. Poor girl ... I hated that I had been clueless to her suffering.

  Katrina nodded. “I don’t see why not. The youngest ones can be a bit over-eager, but one in his late thirties or forties ... they aren’t as susceptible to their hormones.” She snickered. “When it comes to sex, Kalquorians seem to stay in adolescence a lot longer than Earther men. The Nobeks in particular have trouble keeping their urges under control. I’m going to get you started with a nice Dramok, someone who will be a good guide as you start your explorations.”

  Candy looked to me for my opinion. I said, “Why not? It beats sitting in your room alone, all dressed up and no one to show it to. Give it a try.”

  Candy nodded. “I think I will.”

  Katrina gave our hesitant friend her most roguish smile. “I’m having a get-together tonight. Get pretty and come in fifteen minutes late. I’ll tell the boys you are to be admired but not touched unless you change your mind. No pressure, and I’ll set up a couple for you to get to know.”

  Candy chewed on her lip for a few minutes then smiled. “Okay. I can handle that.”

  I’m tempted to go just to see what happens, but I don’t want to be on any guy’s radar. It’s bad enough I slipped up with Betra, and we left it open for another ‘accident’. I’m going to try to be smart Shalia for a change and not put myself in the middle of the road to be run over by temptation.

  January 9, later

  Here I am, living life on a Kalquorian transport where the fun never ends. Ha! I got tired of waiting for the fun to start so I made my own.

  I was having lunch with Katrina and Candy when us little Earther Mataras were told the meal would be followed up with a mandatory meeting. All the liaisons and some guys that looked important stood at the front of the room to make the announcement. We weren’t to go anywhere after we finished eating.

  “I am sorry if you have plans, but they will have to wait,” said the captain of this good ship Lollipop, a Dramok named Wotref. He looked about the same age as my dads and very stern.

  “If Betra comes this way, snag him and find out what’s going on,” Candy urged me.

  “Why do I have to snag him? Why can’t you?” I said around a mouthful of food. Since morning sickness leaves me skipping a decent breakfast, I am an absolute hog at lunch. Politeness be damned when it comes to talking with my mouth full. This gal is hungry.

  Candy rolled her eyes at me. “Well, duh. I’m not the one boffing the big lug. You gave him a ride on the Shalia coaster, he can damned well answer your questions, right?”

  “Once!” I said, spraying bits of food in my pique. “I did it once with him. That doesn’t entitle me to special favors.”

  Candy shook her head. “It should. These guys don’t know how Earther girls think or what we expect in exchange for our favors. If I ever got the guts up to take one of these guys on, you’d better believe I’d make him think I was entitled to stuff. Foot rubs, dinner, secret information about what the hell is going on aboard this ship...”

  Katrina chuckled. “That’s my girl. Then work your way up to diamonds and shuttles.”

  “Well, that goes without saying.”

  I shook my head at the pair, grinning at them. I know those two well enough to realize they’re not the types who would actually expect some kind of ‘payment’ in exchange for sex. They were just being their usual silly selves.

  Betra didn’t come our way to be grilled by his curious wards. He stayed up front with the rest of the liaisons, the captain, and men I assumed were ship’s officers.

  We didn’t have long to wait before the meeting got going. I’d barely finished shoveling in my last mouthful when Captain Wotref spoke again.

  “If I can have your attention, Mataras? Thank you.” He smiled at us, which he honestly didn’t do so well. Wotref looked tired and worn. His face folded along deep fault lines, making me question my earlier assessment that he was around Nayun’s age.

  He went on. “We have left behind Earth-dominated space, which means we have also left behind the main part of the Kalquorian fleet. We have an escort of two destroyers at the present, with two more waiting on the other side of the next vortex passage we will be taking w
ithin the next three weeks. We do not anticipate any trouble, but we don’t wish to be unprepared if trouble happens.”

  That set off a few nervous mutters from the crowd. I noted how pale Candy looked.

  Wotref waited for the chatter to quiet before continuing. “To that end, I will now introduce you to this ship’s weapons commander, Nobek Oses. Commander?”

  A profoundly fierce and stunning specimen of Kalquorian stepped forward. Oses is big. I swear, his muscles have muscles. Seriously, the man was huge-hot-scary-delicious. Okay, I think pregnancy hormones have hit hard, because I’ve never thought much about men who get that muscle bound. I had a lot of thoughts looking at Oses.

  His voice was as big and rough as his body. “Good day, Mataras. We will begin running evacuation drills in the next few days, overseen by myself and other members of the ship’s security team. Under the supervision of your liaisons, you will learn exactly what to do if this ship comes under attack by hostiles.”

  I glanced at Betra, standing off to one side of the gathered Kalquorians. He was watching me and gave me a wink when our gazes met. His attitude was completely relaxed. I only noticed that I had become tense when his ease helped me achieve my own.

  Oses kept talking. “Your groups have already been assigned to escape shuttles, and you will be taught how to get to them quickly and safely. To keep you ready in case of such an unlikely emergency, we will run these drills daily until I am satisfied you are prepared. After that, we will cut back the practice to once a month.”

  “How likely would you say it is we’ll be attacked?” someone called.

  Oses shook his head dismissively. “Very unlikely. Kalquor’s main enemy at this time consists of Tragooms, and they rarely attempt to take on one of our destroyers. With two flanking us at this time, they are almost assuredly not going to bother us.”

  “What about Earther battlecruisers? They’re a match for three or four of your destroyers, aren’t they?”

  Someone else chimed in. “Yeah, didn’t several of them not surrender after Armageddon? There must be a few hundred at large.”

  “More like a couple thousand,” another woman said.

  Oses smiled, no doubt attempting to comfort the worried women. Hell, he should have just flexed for everyone. The man looked like he could take apart a battlecruiser with his bare hands. “They are in hiding. None have tried to engage with us since your government elected to destroy Earth.”

  I soon grew bored with the continued questions. They were just the same concerns voiced over and over in slightly different ways: how much danger was the ship in, who would want to attack us, who could mount a successful attack against us, etcetera, blah, blah, and more blah. Sure, the thought of what might be between us and Kalquor was scary, but we were committed to our destination no matter what.

  More than once I wanted to shout at them to shut up and deal with it already. I was impressed with the patience Nobek Oses and Captain Wotref dealt with the unending questions. Wotref might look tired, but he didn’t complain about soothing others’ frazzled nerves. Everyone at the front of the room displayed nothing but calm. In the end, that eased the initial panic better than them answering all the questions fired at them.

  That didn’t mean I wasn’t ready to interrogate Betra the instant it was over. I might have protested to Candy about being the one to ask him questions, but I was more than ready to get the real story. In my experience, if the powers that be are readying you for the worst, they expect the worst to happen.

  As the officers began to file out of the dining room and the liaisons moved towards their wards, I bounced impatiently in my seat. Oses stopped Betra before he could head our way. The Nobek smiled at him and spoke a few words. Betra shook his head, keeping his gaze averted from the huge weapons commander. When Oses tried to step closer to him, Betra quickly broke away and moved towards our group, walking quite fast. Oses watched him come to us before turning and taking his leave.

  I thought there must be a story there, but I was much more interested in things that directly impacted me and my friends.

  Betra was barely within earshot when I asked, “Real deal, Betra. What is the likelihood of this ship coming under attack?”

  He made a face at me and acted like he might not answer, but then when the other gals of his group began chiming in he was forced to hold his hands up in surrender.

  “Look, Mataras, it’s just a precaution. A few transports have already gone ahead of this one, and none of them have been threatened yet.”

  “But it’s a possibility?” Katrina asked. “It must be, or there wouldn’t be these drills.”

  Betra sighed and sat down, perching his big gorgeous self next to me. I had a momentary flash of his naked body working mine and shivered. He looked at me questioningly. I gave him my most innocent look, which was a mistake of course. The Imdiko narrowed his eyes. He’s figured out when I look my most angelic is when I’m at my worst.

  He addressed us all. “Yes, there is the chance we’ll be challenged by our enemies. Because the majority of the Kalquorian fleet went to Earth and a large portion of the rest remained patrolling our empire to keep it safe, there are large unprotected areas along our route.”

  Candy chewed her lower lip nervously. “Are there any species we should be worried about besides Tragooms and our own renegade fleet?”

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Not even Bi’isils?” I asked. “We could never prove anything, but those nasty little bastards were known to abduct Earthers.”

  Betra cocked an eyebrow at me. “Bi’is would be stupid to challenge our destroyers. Not because we can easily beat them; their technology is as good as if not better than ours. However, they have signed treaties with the Galactic Council about attacking and enslaving fellow members. It would be ugly for them to break that.”

  I nodded. It was good to know the ugly little Greys weren’t likely to bother us. One less enemy is always a plus in my book.

  After a few more questions, the gang began to disperse. I almost went with Katrina and Candy as they headed out discussing what our unhappy little virgin would wear at her salon tonight. But I felt the heat coming off Betra’s body. He smelled as delicious as a male could possibly smell too. My senses felt ridiculously attuned to him, like I’ve never felt with any man before. Maybe it’s some hormonal thing.

  I already knew how good I smelled to him, and it was no surprise when I looked up into his face to see him regarding me with bald want. Heat surged in my gut.

  “My quarters?” I asked.

  Betra smiled, stood, and bowed. “Thank you,” he said, and waited for me to rise. We managed to walk casually, though I was suddenly so crazy with lust I wanted to sprint for my bed.

  When we got to my quarters, I led Betra straight to my sleeping mat. He drew me in his arms.

  “This time, we take our time. I am going to enjoy you as much as I possibly can,” he whispered. “Tell me what you like, Shalia. Tell me what makes you feel best.”

  “I like a strong, bold man,” I told him. “Someone who takes what he wants, but takes care of me too.”

  Betra grinned, his eyes lighting up. “In other words, you are perfect for Kalquorian men, who tend towards domination.”

  “I’m so glad you approve.”

  “I do.” He searched my face. “If I tell you what to do, you’ll enjoy that? If I demand obedience?”

  My stomach flip-flopped. “Try it and see.”

  Betra pressed a hungry kiss to my lips and then released me to step back. “Undress for me.”

  I did as I was told. I took my time as I unbuttoned my blouse. I let my skirt slide from my hips and legs. I slipped my bra off and had my panties fall to my ankles. Without Betra’s bidding, I turned around to let him have a good, slow look at what he was about to enjoy.

  Betra licked his lips. “One of the things I dislike about being with other male Kalquorians, other than the fact that it has no appeal to me whatsoever, is that they expec
t Imdikos to be submissive. I am not a submissive man.”

  I gave him a crooked smile. “I enjoy surrender though. I guess this is your lucky day.”

  “I’m getting that. But how submissive?” He licked his lips again. “How are you with pain? Bondage?”

  My stomach heated at his words. “I like being restrained. As for the pain, I’m all right with a little bit. Nothing too crazy. If I tell you sholt, you’d damned sure better stop right then and there.”

  Betra grinned. “It sounds like you’ve had some practice at this with my people.”

  “The pregnancy didn’t tip you off?”

  He laughed. “I meant with the whole domination and surrender idea.”